The Christian blog scene is hopping with reviews of recent movies and books hitting the press. (Some of my favorite posts are listed below.) Before you sign off on this, bored, let me ask you a question. Does anyone in your house view pornography? Has anyone in your house ever viewed pornography? No? Sadly, I’ll bet they have. The statistics say they probably have. Did you know:
“90% of children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed porn online. The average child sees porn for the first time at age 11….The number one consumer of pornography is boys, ages 12-17…Statistically, you’re probably too late.” (Mark Driscoll, The Peasant Princess)
A little shocked? So was I. If 10 moms of 10 kids between the ages of 8 and 16 read this post, statistically speaking, 9 of them have already viewed porn. ALREADY. Moms, this does not differentiate between believers and non-believers. Whether or not you’re a Christian, your child is not going to be safe from the slimy fingers of pornography! …Unless you are prepared to help fight off those slimy fingers!
First, though, are you fighting them off of yourself? Do they already have a grip on you? Your husband? Do you have boundaries set up for yourselves? Standards you won’t compromise? If not, let me plead with you to do so. I’m sure we all know of marriages torn apart by pornography, adultery or some other sexual sin. In fact, statistics also show that most marriages that end in divorce state porn as a main contributor. If you think you or your marriage are above this happening to you, please – think again. If you are a believer and think you are protected from these things simply because your husband denies a draw to pornography, or because you’re both committed to one another, let me challenge you. You are married to an imperfect person. You yourself are imperfect.
“[Only] 10% of American adults admit to being addicted to internet porn…Of those, 28% are women.” This is clearly not just a man’s issue, ladies! “More than 70% of men from ages 18-34 visit a porn site every month.” (Mark Driscoll, The Peasant Princess) Again, these statistics do not differentiate between Christians and unbelievers! Breaking it down, if there are 10 women reading this post right now, statistically speaking, seven of your husbands have (or will have) viewed porn this month.
So what do we do? How do we protect ourselves? Our husbands? Our marriage? Our children? Well, we don’t live in fear, certainly. God has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). But He HAS given us everything we need for life and godliness…and He’s given us wisdom. With the constant development of media and technology, He has also given Christian men and women the ability to create tools to assist us in protecting our families. I am grateful for the place Covenant Eyes has in our family (we have it on our work and home computers and both of our cell phones). Certainly these tools cannot and should not take the place of the Holy Spirit. However, accountability is a must in this day and age. And it’s hard to lie to a tool like this.
I know I’ve only scratched the surface of this issue, and if this is a struggle for you or someone you know, please remember that through Christ there is HOPE for freedom from pornography. Satan has a hard time getting a foot hold in our lives when we open ourselves up to others, confessing our sins to our spouses and God; Satan hates the Light! And creating this atmosphere of openness, accountability and freedom doesn’t end with adults. Parents, PLEASE have conversations with your children. Consider removing computers from bedrooms and setting boundaries for time spent online. Reread the statistics above, take a deep breath, and prep for a conversation that will produce GOOD fruit.
Below are some excellently written posts…my particular favorite is the third on the list.
- Covenant Eyes: Women and Pornography
- Mommy Porn is No Better Than Daddy Porn (written by one of my fave pastors, Joshua Harris)
- Magic Mike Who?
- Help Each Other Up
- The New Sexual Identity Crisis (while we’re on the topic of all things sex; written by one of my hubby’s co-workers)
Finally, take a moment and look at your children. Aren’t they worth protecting? Think about your marriage, your own soul and purity…is there a price too high to pay for their protection? I think not.