I can’t do it all. It’s true. Actually, I struggle to do most things. I fall into bed exhausted and many times I wake up still tired. And this is nothing new. I had a hard time “doing it all” when I was a teen…single…married and working. Even the months I was on bedrest with seemingly nothing to do, I found myself overwhelmed many times because of my limitations.
And I still have limitations. Lots of them. They look different now than before I had babies. And now, with three M&M’s hanging on me during the day, it’s pretty dang difficult to accomplish much. And I’m sure my limitations will look different in 5, 10, 15, 30 years.
Most days I accomplish little else besides getting food on the table, getting poopy diapers changed and picking the house up (some days not even that!). It seems so small, so insignificant. I want to accomplish a lot.
- I want to write an ebook.
- I want to go back to school.
- I want to get window treatments for my living room.
- I want to make baby books for my babies.
- I want to play the violin again.
- I want to write those guest posts she asked me for.
- I want to clean the baseboards (ok, not really this one).
- I want to plant a garden.
- I want to become a lactation consultant.
- I want to volunteer.
- I want to figure out how to spend less on my groceries.
- I want to organize the guest room closet.
- I want to read those books piling up on my nightstand.
- I want to date my husband.
- I want to get a pedicure.
- I want to minister on the sidewalk at the abortion clinics.
- I want to do lots.
- Each poopy diaper I change is an expression of love.
- Each “owie” I kiss is an expression of care.
- Each fight I intervene is an expression of love.
- Each meal I make is an expression of care.
- Each load of laundry I switch to the dryer is an expression of love.
- Each time I prefer my husband is an expression of care.
That’s a lot of love and care. And it takes time to do all of these things. I mean, right?? When I think about it, it’s not surprising that I can’t carve time out for a “hobby” or “me-time” that our culture tells us I should have. And when I start feeling like I deserve a break…that’s usually when I start getting overwhelmed. I don’t know about you, but that’s the time I get frustrated because I can’t get to what I want to do (even if it’s not “break”-related).
But the truth is, life isn’t supposed to be easy. (Genesis 3:16-19)
It’s supposed to be really hard. And my craving for ease is something I constantly have to battle. Of course I’m definitely not proposing we never stop, never rest, never enjoy doing nothing. God showed us how to rest when He rested after creating the world (Genesis 2:2). So rest is definitely a good thing! David and I recently enjoyed a whole weekend of doing nothing! And I can hardly wait for the next one.
But often this desire for rest gets in the way of what needs to be done. And so does the desire to be able to do it all. God doesn’t command me to do it “all.” He doesn’t require that I check everything on my task list off every single day. When I am weak, He is strong. He wants me to draw from Him the strength I need to accomplish what I can. Good news, isn’t it?! So that pressure I feel? I can take that load off. And that long list of pinned ideas on Pinterest? I can enjoy seeing what God has enabled others to do until I find time to fit that in. Until then…I’ve got lots to do in my world:
- I have babies to breastfeed.
- I have bread to make.
- I have cloth diapers to bring in.
- I have a meeting to get ready for.
- I have dinner to finish.
- I have snacks for my M&M’s to prepare.
- I have a chapter to read in “Rid of My Disgrace.”
- I have a husband to bless.
- I have friends to pray for.
I probably won’t accomplish all of these, but my goal is to work hard and do my very best – releasing what I cannot do (Colossians 3:23-24). And that’s ok. Right? =)
Does what you’re doing seem small and insignificant? What are you struggling with right now?
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